When you go to your first scan it is meant to be the best and most exciting experience in the world, you are seeing your unborn child for the first time. You are going to have it confirmed that everything is OK and that there really is a tiny human growing inside you.
Now I would love to say that it was all those things, however it wasn’t. It was one of the worst experiences I have experienced. I had my date come through and I was beyond excited, once that date had gone and I knew everything was OK I could start telling close family and friends and share the good news. The date came around my boyfriend and I were anxious but excited. My mum wanted to come with, she is even more excited than us I think. On the letter we received, it said that it was fine for 3 people in the room but no more due to space – just want to point out, having been there and seen all the rooms, there is plenty of room for whoever you wish to have in there, not sure if other hospitals are different but this one had plenty of room. So we get called through, and this is where the nightmare begins. The woman looked in horror at the fact I had brought 2 people with me and we got a roll of the eyes followed by ‘well you will have to pull up another chair then’. We did and that wasn’t any trouble at all. I then wasn’t sure what to do, I’ve never been in this situation before, she didn’t look at me, she stared at the notes and then I just got, ‘well take your coat off then!’ Fine, snap all you like you are not going to ruin this for me. Then I get told to lay on the bed and the usual moving of clothes out the way. Again she rolled her eyes, not sure what for this time. As I have already said, I am plus size, so I’m overweight, that’s just how it is, what I got next was another roll of the eyes followed by a huge sigh and ‘well you are VERY difficult to scan!’ Oh OK, I wasn’t aware, I am sorry about that. Then because I have a belly, I got told ‘could you move your skin, you are difficult’ At this point I was upset, I felt like I had done something wrong by going into the room.
I would love to say that all, and that I was being over emotional about the situation, however that isn’t the case. By this point she was lying over me, because I was so difficult I’m guessing. I couldn’t see the screen, and then she just blurts out ‘well what’s happened here then!’ Obviously I thought the worst, I thought something was wrong and something had happened, which again made me upset, I asked what she meant, she turned and snapped – ‘were you on the pill?’ to which I replied no, her response was ‘how did this happen then?’. I was shocked, I wasn’t sure of what she meant; did she mean how did I get pregnant? I had no idea what she was talking about; again I was thinking something was wrong. Another big sigh, ‘why are your dates so wrong?’ I explained that this is what I had worked out with my midwife and the dates we came to based on last period ect. That clearly wasn’t good enough. ‘Well you are too early for a scan, you are NOT 12 weeks, and I can’t do any tests now’. She was positively shouting at me, I wasn’t sure what to say, I said sorry, but I’m not sure why. This wasn’t my fault, it was no ones, this is a common thing, to have people come in early and have dates mixed up. I felt like I had truly wasted her time.
My boyfriend and my mum had seen the screen, there was the baby, a heart beating and everything, I couldn’t see because she was lent so far across me that she was blocking the screen. The she turned to me and said ‘well usually we offer a photo, but there really isn’t anything to see is there?’ and with that she closed down the screen and walked to her desk. That might not have been anything to you, but that was my unborn child and that was the first time we were seeing anything, well I say seeing, I never did actually get to see anything!
Once over at her desk, she signed again, ‘I have got to cross all this out now’ she had been filling out the form to say which checks had been completed. Oh I am sorry, have I made you do your job??
What exactly have I done here to deserve such disgusting behaviour from someone in a professional occupation? I am not the first overweight mother, and I certainly won’t be the last! I am not the first to come to a scan early and I certainly won’t be the last!
This woman made me feel like I was an inch big, she belittled me, she spoke to me with disrespect, and she in my opinion is a disgrace to her profession.
This job is a fantastic job, sharing the moment parents see their unborn child for the first time, seeing the smiles, the tears, and the emotion. But this woman had nothing, no respect for me, and no respect for her profession and certainly no decorum in that situation!
My first experience as a pregnant woman was awful.