life · Pregnancy · Uncategorized

Life Happens

Life really is unpredictable isn’t it? One minute you’re going about your daily activities and then BAM! Life happens and everything changes. Like me for example, there I was going about my life, days were pretty busy with work and planning and holidays and family, you know the usual… and then I remembered, when did I last have my period? Am I late? I couldn’t be, could I? I did the usual ‘math’ to try and figure this out. I was due to go on holiday with my boyfriend in a couple of days and I was due to come on while on holiday… I know bad timing. Anyway I stocked up, well prepared for whatever would happen on holiday. Except nothing did happen, I put that down to the excitement of a holiday and all the alcohol I had consumed, you know sometimes it just doesn’t come on time. Anyway, a week past and still nothing. I didn’t worry, my whole life I had variations in my periods so this wasn’t anything new to me.

When we came back from holiday it was still all go. My friend is getting married and she asked me to be maid of honour, and we were attending a wedding show. We had decided to stay over as we didn’t want our holiday to be over. Anyway, wedding show over, we had a lovely evening. The next morning we woke up and started to get ready for breakfast. Then all of a sudden this wave came over me, as if from my feet, I was going to be sick. Now I’m not a sickly person, I don’t really get sick so this was very unusual for me. I wasn’t actually sick, the feeling soon passed. As a woman, I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but the initial thought it, ‘am I pregnant’. Well on the way home we got a test, we thought better know for sure. I took the test and it was negative. A moment of relief passed over me. I told my boyfriend and there was relief on his face too. This is a big thing. We still live with my parents and we are not prepared, but then who really is prepared. Anyway we carried on and thought no more of it.

About two weeks later, I had this weird feeling, I can’t explain it – I still hadn’t had my period –  and I just felt different. We were doing the dishes and I said I needed the toilet, so I left him to it. I ran upstairs and took another test. You know on the box it says wait around 3 minutes for an accurate result. Well I didn’t even have to wait 3 seconds, as soon as my pee hit that stick it was there. ‘Positive’, my heart stopped, but I was happy, I felt this was right, I felt this was the time, it was all coming together.

Then I hear footsteps come upstairs, my boyfriend came in the bathroom and just stood there. I showed him the test. His face was pure shock. I don’t really think he knew what to do. He looked at me and said ‘What do we do now’ I don’t know, I have never been in this situation I explained. I said I didn’t believe it, and it could be wrong, I needed to do another. So we went to the shop and bought another test, all the time trying to keep this from my parents who were home at the time.  We got another test, and the same thing happened again, straight away, there it was in black and white.

I am pregnant.

The next few days were stressful, trying to figure out what to do, how we could do it, what it would cost. Question after question running around our heads, this was completely new to both of us and we had no idea what to do. The first thing I wanted to do was talk to my mum, and I couldn’t, until we had a plan and until we knew what we both wanted I couldn’t tell anyone.

My friends were coming round that weekend for a ‘bridesmaid meet up’ and I couldn’t even tell them. The day passed and I just felt like I was keeping something from them, well I was and I was killing me inside. I eventually told my friend, the bride. She didn’t say much, and that really hurt, I mean it felt like she wasn’t happy, maybe she thought I was trying to steal her thunder by getting pregnant the same time she was getting married. We never mentioned it the rest of the day.

The next few days were more stress and information, we had an appointment with the doctor to discuss the options from now, and then we met with the midwife. That was crazy, so many questions and so many options. So much information. After the midwife we decided to tell my parents. I knew my mum would be fine, I knew she would be thrilled. We had a plan though, we had a little money saved and we planned to buy a house and I had a detailed money plan on how we would make it work. So I wasn’t worried.

She cried for about an hour, the only reason she stopped is because we needed to go out. My dad walked in and we told him and he was happy too. As an only child, I guess it was the realisation that we were a complete family unit now. We were all brought closer together by this piece of news.  

We all knew this was a huge journey we were about to embark on, and I’m not sure if any of us were fully ready.

Well we had to be really didn’t we?

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